The Grass Isn't Greener In Bali

I just got back from the most epic retreat in Bali and whenever anyone asks, “How was your trip?” I don’t really know how to answer.  

I know you are dying to hear about the fresh-drawn flower baths, endless massages, ice-cold Bintangs and even the cute boy I met during my layover in China.

However, this trip was actually filled with a lot personal healing, serious struggle, and answers to honest questions that I didn’t share on the gram. 

Not only was I reminded of what I need to do in order to live my best life, I also became aware of the self-destructive habits I need to overcome in order grow. 

The truth is, I’m not completely stoked on where I am in life right now. 

But that’s ok, because transition takes time, and in order for change to happen, I need to change what I can in the moment.

So if you REALLY want to know how my trip went, here is what Bali helped me discover about myself and the habits I am healing as I transition into my thirties. 

Waking Up Early: We all know your girl loves her sleep (and when I sleep in, I sleep in hard). Yet on the days where I rise with the sun, I find myself more productive. I am able to carve out time for myself in the morning and acquire the motivation needed to GET. SHIT. DONE. By making early mornings a priority, I can finally stop bitching about not having enough hours in the day to write and start putting in the extra effort towards my goals, dreams, and visions.

(p.s. I woke up at 7 am today to write this — go me).

Eating With Intention: You may or may not know this little fun fact about me but… I’m a binge eater. I always find myself opening the fridge out of boredom, procrastination, or loneliness. My time in Bali showed me the importance of slowing down and celebrating the meals on my plate. It helped me become more conscious of what I put into my body and recognize food as fuel rather than an escape.   

Learning to Relax: I take pride in my chill factor, but sometimes even I have a hard time relaxing. Whenever I was getting rubbed down for my daily massage, I found my mind worrying about work, wondering about the future, and felt my body hanging on to unnessary tension. Unwinding is harder than it looks, and chances are you might be a little high strung right now as we speak— so together lets soften our shoulders, unclench our jaws and take a big, deep, juicy breath. 

(There, that’s better).

Sharing Myself: The reason I always travel alone is because, it’s really hard for me to share my time, my space, my voice, and even my food with others. I know I was brought into this world to motivate, inspire, and encourage people on their own path, but I’m not living my purpose true by keeping my thoughts, my creations, and my energy all to myself. Although it’s scary to open up, I know it’s time for me to lean into vulnerability and begin to share more of my light (and my food) with the world. 

Make Passion a Priority: I’ve been so caught up in the hustle and bustle of work and overwhelmed by my overthinking, I’ve kind of lost the passion I have for life. My Bali adventure helped bring a spark of joy back into my heart by putting forth the effort to do what I love. Now I am aware of the boundaries I need to set in my work schedule in order to make more time for play. 

Accepting Love: This realization hit the heart and I’m not being dramatic when I say, it brought me to tears. We all know I have no problem loving myself, but the real challenge I am facing is accepting unconditional love from others. My 20’s were focused on growing into a strong, independent little lady, but this retreat showed me it’s ok to let people help you, care for you, and love you. We are all worthy enough to be worshiped like queens, but we have to let go of our desire to control in order to accept the genuine love we deserve. 

See, I told you this trip wasn’t all sunshine and shavasana. It was a lot of digging deep and acknowledging truths I have been denying for a long time. 

So if you were feeling envious of my island getaway, remember the grass isn’t greener in Bali— it’s greener where you water it. 

This trip helped me plant a seed of change, but now it is time for me to show up every day and water it with intention if I want my next chapter of life to grow into something beautiful.

Now to answer your question, “My trip was good.”

xx Fins & Kisses,

The Mermaid.